A growing number of people live with and share their lives with a pet. It may be a cat, a dog, or less typical animals such as reptiles or small rodents. And these animals do not simply coexist in the household; people often develop very strong bonds with them.

These relationships can have a significant impact on the decisions people make in their lives, including small everyday choices such as where to work, where to live, or where to travel. People’s lifestyles are sometimes adjusted to match the needs of the animal.

But in some situations, people may also feel that they are not fully meeting their pet’s needs, whether because they work too much, struggle to provide enough physical activity or cognitive stimulation, or simply do not feel they are giving enough attention in everyday life.

Exploring Guilt Among Pet Parents

For some people, the perception that they are not meeting their expectations as pet parents can be associated with feelings of guilt and even a sense of inadequacy. And for people who have a significant bond with their animals, these high expectations towards themselves can negatively impact their sense of well-being.

That was exactly the focus of a 2024 study, one of the first to specifically examine feelings of guilt among pet parents.

The study involved more than 300 dog owners who completed a series of online questionnaires. The researchers used several standardized measures to look at different aspects of the human-dog relationship, including attachment to the dog, feelings of guilt related to the role of being a dog parent, work-dog conflict, compensatory behaviours, and adult attachment styles.

The findings suggest that a stronger attachment to a dog may be associated with greater feelings of guilt, particularly when pet guardians feel they are not meeting their own expectations regarding their caregiving role. The study also found that these feelings of guilt may be accompanied by compensatory behaviours such as giving extra treats, buying toys or other gifts, and trying to provide additional attention during available free time.

Another interesting finding was that people with a more anxious attachment style were even more likely to report feelings of guilt when work or other responsibilities reduced the amount of time and attention they felt they could give to their dog.

Clinical Implications for Mental Health Professionals

This type of guilt related to the caregiving role has also been observed in research with parents, particularly in studies examining parenting guilt. What makes these findings especially relevant is that similar dynamics may also emerge in psychotherapy when working with individuals who identify as pet parents.

For many people, companion animals occupy the role of important attachment and caregiving figures in their lives. Understanding that these experiences can occur and being attentive to the emotional dynamics that accompany them may provide valuable clinical insights for mental health professionals working with this population.

There is still a tendency to draw a sharp distinction between human-human and human-animal relationships. One of the most interesting contributions of this study is that it highlights how similar some of these relational dynamics can be when a strong bond exists with a companion animal.

Holding space in therapy to validate and explore these feelings of guilt may be an important step in helping pet parents process their emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

Looking Beyond Traditional Definitions of Family

As family structures continue to evolve, these are experiences that mental health professionals should be careful not to overlook.

It is important to pay attention to these kinds of dynamics, particularly when feelings of guilt and self-blame become excessive. In some cases, they may be associated with higher levels of stress or symptoms of anxiety. It can also be helpful to explore whether this pattern of self-criticism appears in other relationships and areas of the person’s life.

We often hear about the many benefits of relationships with companion animals, and for good reasons. However, understanding the complexity of these bonds is equally important. Paying attention to experiences such as guilt, self-imposed expectations, and caregiving pressure may help identify broader difficulties, including caregiver burnout and chronic stress, which may impact pet parents’ sense of well-being.

Taking these possible implications into account, more research is needed to better understand the impact of these experiences not only on the relationship between people and their animals but also on the overall well-being of pet parents.

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