“Let’s sit down and have a chat.”

While plenty of us love the opportunity to have a chinwag, for teens who’ve been invited to confide in a parent, chances are they’ll close up like a clam.

But talking is important – it’s how we connect, it’s how we ease the burden when something’s weighing heavily on us, and after the conversations sparked by Netflix’s Adolescence this year, as well teachers noting a worrying rise in misogyny and polarising gender views online, it’s perhaps never been more important.

Dads are feeling huge pressure to help their sons open up about their feelings, according to Joseph Conway, psychotherapist and mental health trainer at Vita Health Group.

But these conversations might not come naturally, particularly for those who didn’t grow up with male role models showing vulnerability themselves.

This International Men’s Day (19 Nov), Conway is urging dads to rethink how they communicate with their sons, and has revealed one simple yet powerful shift that can help boys feel at ease and more comfortable sharing.

Instead of inviting them to sit down and talk face-to-face, which he said rarely works in helping kids and young people open up, Conway suggested a simple switch-up to “side-by-side talking”.

He said: “Pick an activity they enjoy, such as football, baking, crafting, or gaming, to create a safe-space for conversation.

“Shared activities give boys room to open up without feeling scrutinised, or having the intensity of eye contact. They also allow dads to weave emotional check-ins more naturally into everyday life.”

Male Allies UK recently published a new research report aiming to understand how those in secondary school education feel about being boys today.

It revealed that many boys between the ages of 11 and 16 are struggling to define what masculinity means in today’s world.

More than three-quarters (79%) said it isn’t clear to them, with one boy surveyed saying: “People always say what it shouldn’t be, but don’t say what it is.” Another added: “It’s toxic, that’s all I ever hear.”

They also reported feeling increasingly disconnected and misunderstood with over half (54%) in the survey believing boys now have it harder than girls. Some said they feel girls are celebrated while boys are “seen as part of the problem”.

Conway said constantly hearing negative narratives around masculinity can harm a boy’s sense of self, and affect their overall wellbeing.

“Awareness of toxic masculinity is important, but many boys and young men now feel like the villain in the script, and that can be a dangerous message to hear on repeat,” he noted.

“Many boys are hearing constant criticism in the mainstream media, but receiving very little guidance on how to process it. Without trusted voices to talk to, they often turn to the internet to make sense of themselves, and that’s frequently where the most harmful narratives live.”

Research has shown that parent-teen conversations are a major protective factor for young people – and discussing emotions is so important as part of this.

“Dads play a profound role in shaping how boys understand masculinity, empathy, emotional expression and respect,” said Conway.

“But we know that for many men, emotionally open conversations don’t come naturally, especially if they didn’t grow up with male role models who modelled vulnerability.

“The side-by-side talking ‘trick’ doesn’t just help to create a safe space for boys and young people, it also helps to take the pressure off for dads, especially if talking about feelings is out of their comfort zone.”

• Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
• Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI – this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
• CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
• The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email [email protected]
• Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.