Philosophy, Religion
Leave a comment

A Journey of Resilience: Breaking Chains, Embracing Truth

A Journey of Resilience: Breaking Chains, Embracing Truth


[ Adobe Stock | ergey Nivens ]

Mariam Oyiza Aliyu

The following piece was written by Mariam Oyiza Aliyu, an ex-Muslim rights activist and survivor of gender-based violence from Kogi State in central Nigeria. Aliyu has focused her humanitarian energies on the most vulnerable in Nigeria: women and children. 

I grew up in the quaint town of Okene, nestled between the boundaries of a bustling city and a serene village in Kogi State, Nigeria. Our family was deeply immersed in the Islamic faith, and my father, a renowned sheik, held a prominent position within the community. However, he was an absentee father, leaving my sibling and me to be raised primarily by our extraordinary mother—a woman of unyielding strength and intellect.

Despite the constraints imposed by our religious beliefs, my mother remained open-minded and free-spirited. Her activist tendencies, fueled by a burning desire for justice, often led her to question the norms of our community. This audacity, however, came at a price. As our faith was placed under scrutiny, we became targets of harassment and discrimination.

My father’s lineage boasted a legacy of revered sheiks and muftis, renowned not only within our community but beyond its boundaries. We were raised to follow Islamic doctrines strictly, with little room for independent thought. Other religions were deemed perilous paths leading to damnation, which left us devoid of the freedom to explore alternative perspectives.

From an early age, I possessed an insatiable curiosity—a hunger to question and analyze the world around me. I was just fifteen years old when I began challenging the status quo, a formidable task given the community’s staunch adherence to patriarchal ideals. In a society that dictated women were to be managed by men, disobedience was met with admonishment, isolation, or physical punishment. The mere thought of being subjected to such control in my adult life, through marriage or otherwise, filled me with profound discomfort and rebellion.

My relentless pursuit of knowledge and truth frequently landed me in trouble within the walls of Islamic schools. The beatings and occasional expulsions I endured were viewed as necessary corrections, ingrained within the fabric of our society. Yet my mother, a vocal advocate for change, consistently fought back by relocating me to different schools. She refused to accept the notion that violence was a legitimate means of education. However, the cycle of harassment persisted, leading me to abandon Islamic schools altogether. With trepidation, I sought refuge within Christian institutions, hoping for a more accepting environment.

The transition was met with swift condemnation from my community, which perceived my newfound faith as a betrayal. My mother, recognizing the perils that lay ahead, implored me to conceal my attendance at church, a symbol of the compromises we were forced to make. To my dismay, the church experience proved disheartening. I witnessed financial exploitation and sermons that mirrored the submissive treatment of women dictated by the Qur’an. Once again, my inquisitive nature emerged, and I began questioning the very foundations of both religions. To my dismay, I discovered that the violent responses I had experienced within Islamic schools were mirrored within Christian circles. It became evident that blind adherence to any doctrine stifled individuality and perpetuated inequality.

In my quest for understanding, I looked deeper into the Qur’an, explored the hadith, and avidly attended Islamic lectures. With unmatched fervor, I adhered to the customs and traditions, donning the hijab and immersing myself in every facet of religious life. Despite my dedication, an irrevocable sense of dissonance remained—an internal battle between my innate desire for justice and the oppressive tenets that governed my faith.

Tragedy struck in February 2012 when my beloved mother succumbed to a brief illness. At the tender age of seventeen, I stood on the precipice of a new chapter—enrolling at the University of Maiduguri to study medical radiography. The loss of my unwavering support system left me feeling adrift, grappling with the daunting task of challenging an oppressive culture and religion that denied women the freedom to be their authentic selves.

We relocated closer to my father’s family, hoping for solace, familial connection, and acceptance. Our hopes were shattered when we encountered hostility, insults, and humiliation at the hands of my father’s numerous wives. Desperate to escape the toxic environment, we sought refuge in Kano State, where I lived with my brother while studying, working, and volunteering with several organizations and companies.

In 2015, I founded Learning through Skills Acquisition Initiative (LETSAI, https://letsaii.com/)—a beacon of hope for survivors of gender-based violence, a vehicle for legal justice for abuse victims, and an empowering force for vulnerable women, girls, atheists, and all individuals at risk of gender-based violence. LETSAI’s mission extends beyond individual healing; it aims to cultivate community cohesion through joint peacebuilding initiatives, working to shape a more inclusive future.

One fateful day, in a cramped hostel dormitory, destiny intervened. I encountered a thirteen-year-old girl who bore the scars of sexual abuse—an orphan, much like me, trapped in a hauntingly familiar narrative. Determined to break the cycle of suffering, I reported the heinous crime to the authorities and rallied support for her cause. I provided the girl and her mother with practical skills, teaching them the art of bag-making to foster self-sufficiency and liberate them from the clutches of her abuser. Unbeknownst to me, this act of compassion would unleash a cascade of change.

As word spread of my efforts, more women sought solace within LETSAI’s embrace. The women, each with their own harrowing stories, found refuge in our shared journey toward healing and empowerment. Soon, my modest dorm room could no longer contain the burgeoning tide of those seeking assistance.

In 2017, the year I graduated from the University of Maiduguri, I was presented with a unique opportunity to volunteer with the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), working hand-in-hand with a partner organization. The experience fortified my resolve, providing valuable insights and igniting a collective vision of support for marginalized women. Advised by many well-wishers, I realized the necessity of legal recognition for LETSAI to receive the support needed to further our mission. With a heavy heart, I relinquished the idea of LETSAI as a personal endeavor and registered it as an official corporate entity, recognized by the Nigerian government.

Yet with each stride forward, I encountered more loopholes within my faith—a religion marred by pedophilia, violence against women and children, and the suppression of critical thought. These contradictions left me torn between the inherent reverence for the Prophet and the injustice perpetuated in his name. In 2020, I courageously shed the hijab—a symbol of oppression, a declaration of my defiance. This powerful act of liberation came at a steep cost—backlash, humiliation, threats, and physical abuse that aimed to break my spirit and stall my life’s work.

My situation deteriorated rapidly; I found myself in a constant state of transience, seeking refuge in different states to evade the relentless attacks. In August 2020, when despair loomed large, an organization called Secular Rescue came to my aid. Their support, combined with a relocation fund, facilitated my escape to the bustling city of Abuja. However, even there, I remained exposed, marked by a fatwa that hung over my head like an ominous cloud. I was forced to keep moving, until eventually I secured an opportunity to seek asylum in the Netherlands through the Shelter City protection program for human rights defenders. Secular Rescue continued to lend its unwavering support, guiding me through the treacherous path of escape and providing the shelter I so desperately needed.

Arriving in the Netherlands was a bittersweet triumph. I had left behind everything I knew—a lifetime of memories and the very fabric of my identity—to forge a new beginning in an unfamiliar land. Starting from scratch, I faced the formidable challenge of rebuilding my life, all while carrying the weight of my purpose—the burning desire to pursue a PhD and establish a branch of LETSAI providing support to refugees, asylum seekers, and all those in need within this newfound community. 

As I stand here today, with gratitude in my heart, I extend my sincerest appreciation to the government of the Netherlands for granting me asylum and the protection I yearned for. My hope and dream burn brighter than ever—to delve deeper into the realms of knowledge through a PhD, to nurture LETSAI’s presence within this foreign land, and to continue championing the rights of refugees, asylum seekers, and the marginalized. Together, we will shape a world where freedom of religion, gender equality, and justice are not just lofty ideals but tangible realities that define the human experience. 

Sidebar:

Founded by Mariam Oyize Aliyu and established in June 2015, the Learning through Skills Acquisition Initiative (LETSAI) is a youth-led nonprofit organization that focuses on the enhancement of gender equality and good health and well-being while promoting sustainable economic and civic growth and inclusion for women and girls. Its board of trustees are medical and media experts, human rights activists, development experts, and academicians with significant experience in their fields.

Through advocacy campaigns and viable income-generating initiatives, LETSAI (https://letsaii.com/) provides comprehensive management of gender-based violence, including legal assistance, trauma healing, and psychosocial support. 



Source link

Leave a Reply