“I just feel so overwhelmed,” I sigh as I hit the couch. It’s been a long day, and I still have dinner to make, an attempt at a workout, and a cat to medicate before bed. The inner pull to sink into the couch and rest is countered by an anxious energy that says I must keep pushing forward. Fearing I might fall asleep or lose momentum if I rest “too long,” I start to stand again.
“That’s it?” my husband asks, and pats the seat next to him. “It’s OK to take a break,” he says, as he pulls up a gym fail video—a surefire way to get my attention. My internal parts are at odds—wanting to relax and wanting to finish the to-do list for the day—and now they’re mixing with a part that doesn’t want to disappoint my sweet husband.
“One video,” I agree, knowing it will likely be three. After a while, I’ve settled into the rhythm of making dinner, which doesn’t feel so arduous after a little rest. My husband’s just come inside from putting the chickens away for the night, and he jokes that he thinks I’m allergic to rest. He might be right.
Why We Resist Taking Breaks
Why is it that we resist taking a break? And are there ways to make breaks a frictionless part of our days?
Most of the amazing humans I coach also have a complicated interaction with breaks. They can recognize the visceral, positive changes in their bodies and moods after taking a break, but the act of convincing themselves to take said break can end up feeling like another task. The transition between work and break can be tricky to navigate, but it’s nothing compared to the transition back to work after a break. (Think about the awful nightly migration you have to do from watching your favorite shows to brushing your teeth and getting ready for bed. It feels impossible, and it’s a perfect example of the fun-to-work transition.) Many people dread the transition back into work and will avoid breaks because they don’t trust themselves to come back.
Another roadblock for taking a break is the belief that we have to “earn” it. This line of thinking says we must be productive enough to pause and rest, delaying movement, enjoyment, even using the bathroom or having a snack until we’ve accomplished a task. The major flaw in this approach is that taking breaks can increase productivity; the task we force ourselves to complete so we “earn” our break may take 20 minutes with a tired brain but only 5 after refreshing for a few minutes. Productivity aside, humans are mammals, and the idea that we have to complete tasks in order to rest reflects a social construct, one that is not rooted in biology.
Strategies for Making Breaks Easier and More Effective
There are several ways to honor your need for a break without having the break derail your day. One powerful way is to schedule them; give yourself transition periods that include an activity that gives you what you need, and honor that schedule. If you struggle with time blindness, consider using a visual timer or alarms to help you come back to your task—it could even be several alarms to give you a heads-up that the break is almost up.
Another idea is to have several breaks in mind, so you have a variety of options depending on what you need and how distractible you feel. For example, on a day when it’s been really tricky to focus, I may choose a break that is rewarding but won’t glue my attention for hours: a quick bit of yoga or walking to the mailbox (it’s .2 miles round trip) may help me feel more energized but won’t suck me in like a show might. On the other hand, if I really need a good break, I may call a friend or walk the neighborhood, activities that can extend for a while when I have the flexibility.
To help Future You with the transition back into work mode, leave everything set up when you take your break. Not having to sign in or set up again removes potential friction. You can add social accountability by telling a coworker or friend when you’ll be back from your break, too. When the transition is particularly tough, consider asking your brain to just do “5 awful minutes” of the task. Often you will find that you will hit your rhythm again and be empowered to stay for much longer than the 5 minutes.
Breaks can evoke a lot of feelings and there are loads of societal notions about them. Listen to your body and honor what you need. You can borrow ideas to make breaks easier to take and return from, too.