You can find a lot of information about how to decrease your anxiety, but think about the things you accidentally do that guarantee your anxiety will worsen. I see my patients make consistent mistakes. Once you recognize them, you cannot unsee them.

1. Focus on feeling peaceful instead of becoming competent in managing anxiety and panic anyplace, anywhere.
   Anxiety fools everyone into believing they are in terrible emotional or situational danger, even though they are not. No one can be in perfect control over when and how they feel anxious; a better goal is to become competent at living well even when anxious. Peace of mind can only be achieved once you know you can handle the worst-case scenario of anxiety without compromising your goals. For example, you continue to drive your children to their appointments despite fear of driving on busy roads, or you show up for a job interview and say what you need to say despite feeling panicked.
2. Avoid people and situations you know will trigger anxiety or panic.
   Each time you avoid a situation or person who triggers anxiety, called negative reinforcement, you reinforce your tendency to get anxious and stay anxious. Each time you seek reassurance instead of trusting your judgment, you undermine your self-confidence. Wisdom dictates that you invest in your future with less anxiety by facing it now instead of putting it off. You will see that negative reinforcement is your worst enemy instead of the anxiety.
3. Assume the things that led to your anxiety are what you should focus on rather than the maintaining causes.
   Understanding how you came to be an anxious person might be interesting and help you cultivate self-compassion; however, it is far removed from learning how to manage your anxiety in the present moment. Recovery from anxiety is about stopping the current cycle of being afraid of being anxious and learning how to be gritty in the face of anxiety. People who do not have anxiety disorders experience anxiety and occasional panic, but they categorize anxiety as an unpleasant and predictable experience that is normal and not to be feared. They remember it is more important to take risks and seek out discomfort in the pursuit of living well. They never wait to feel confident and calm before doing difficult things because they realize doing difficult things is what produces peace of mind and self-confidence.
4. Label any anxiety-provoking event or person as traumatic instead of anxiety-provoking.
   Those who overcome anxiety learn the words they use have great influence over how they feel and act. They understand that words like trauma carry powerful associations with victimhood, loss of control, and loss of choice, and reserve them for things that are truly terrible and extraordinary, such as sexual assault, near-death experiences, and extreme physical and psychological pain. They label experiences that most people face, such as poor parenting, bad relationships, breakups, divorce, or near misses, as being distressing. They focus on what they can learn from difficult life experiences rather than the negative effects of such experiences. This helps them dial down the feeling of being victimized and normalize the difficulty of being human so they can more readily grow.