Australia, Canada, France, Israel, Spain, Sweden, Japan, Chile, Denmark, and England. These are the nations, among others, the US has joined in issuing cell phone bans in schools. A review of the research on smartphone and other mobile device bans in schools shows mixed results regarding benefits to academic progress, school engagement, bullying, and student wellbeing. There are also plenty of scholars, as well as students and parents, who have raised concerns about negative outcomes. Some report decreased wellbeing in the first year bans were implemented, feeling less safe, and increased disciplinary measures, which in the case of suspensions, restrict access to learning, thus inadvertently offsetting potential benefits.
Regardless of the opinions expressed or what the numbers show, there are more and more school systems in the US adopting cell phone ban policies, or, as our local school system in Montgomery County, MD calls it, PMD (Personal Mobile Device) Regulation. Whether you are jumping for joy, furious, or more neutral, some students are heading back to school in systems that require all PMDs be stored away, out of sight and out of use throughout the academic day—a.m. bell to p.m. dismissal bell and every minute in between. It is happening now.
As with any new policy or practice, these PMD bans will be an adjustment for faculty, students, and parents. High school students may have the strongest feelings about the loss of what some perceive to be a pseudo-bodily appendage. Students will need time to adapt. School staff will need to be steadfast with classroom enforcement. And if these policies have any chance of lasting, school administrators will need to be consistent in reinforcing expectations. Though parents cannot control any of these factors, there are some very important things they can do to make the transition to a non-PMD school day easier for all.
Acceptance Is a Distress Tolerance Skill
Acceptance is hard. It means acknowledging what is, even when we disagree, don’t appreciate what is happening, or do not want it to be as it is. When we refuse to accept the reality in a given moment, behaviors that do not align can cause conflict and greater distress. This is why acceptance is a distress tolerance skill. Students and parents will need to adhere to the school’s policies whether they like it or not. Behaving otherwise will likely bring discord, disruption, and distress.
Likewise, parents can accept their own and their teens’ feelings and opinions and express validation that they have the right to feel the way they do. When adults express their acceptance through validation, teens feel understood. This understanding allows two things to be true at once: “This policy sucks and I am going to follow it, see how it goes, and find ways to advocate for changes if, over time, there are negative effects.”
As one version of the Serenity Prayer goes, “May I have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Orient Your Teen With the Facts
As school gets going, be sure to read your school system’s PMD policy. Once the policy has been reviewed, sit down with your teen and talk with them about it. Make sure they understand the parameters and definitions for the expectations. Will teens always comply? Likely not. But when teens are informed ahead of making choices, they are better able to make informed decisions and be accountable.
Our local school system had previously implemented some PMD restrictions throughout the academic day for middle school and only during academic classes for high school. This year, the regulation states its purpose: “To prohibit the use of personal mobile devices by Montgomery County Public Schools (MCPS) students while on MCPS property or engaged in MCPS-sponsored activities.” It defines a PMD as “any non-MCPS-issued device used to connect to the Internet and send or receive data via voice, video, or text. This includes mobile phones, e-readers, tablets, personal computers, smart watches, smart glasses or other devices equipped with microphones, headphones (including airpods/earbuds), speakers, and/or cameras.” The policy goes on to describe in greater detail where there may be exceptions, how noncompliance will be addressed, and potential consequence.
This conversation between parents and teens offers an opportunity for meaningful discussion, sharing perspectives, and a common understanding of the policy.
Do Your Part
Anticipate how you may respond when your teen initially complains about the torture of not accessing their devices at school. You may like to rant along with them, though that is likely to ramp up their emotions, making their adjustment more difficult. Go back to validating how they feel, “I know this is a really hard change and get how you feel.” Once emotions are more settled, help them accept their new reality. “The school’s policy is in place. It is important to follow the rules. Your feelings make sense and there are appropriate ways to advocate without disrupting your learning or getting in trouble.”
As parents, we are all guilty of texting our teens through the school day. Something comes up and we don’t want to forget to communicate, so we send a text in the middle of Chem class (then think, oh crap, they might be in Chem class). Parents will need to adjust by refraining from communicating with their teens during the school-day hours.
One of the best things for parents since the invention of cell phones is that we have instant access to our kids. One of the worst things about this is that we have been shaped by the constant access to feel anxious when we cannot reach them instantly. Check yourself when this anxious sense arises. It is an indication of how you have been trained rather than a sign of any danger. If you are really struggling with the urges to communicate, learn how to schedule texts for later so they arrive after dismissal. It’s a safe bet that your student will eagerly be checking to see what they have missed on their beloved cells during the bus ride home.
If your student is a repeat cell offender leading to a call from the school administrator, support the accountability, even if you also respectfully disagree. These are important experiences for teens to feel a response to their choices so they can reflect and make different decisions moving forward. If you feel there are unfair or disproportionate responses to student noncompliance, use the appropriate channels to appeal a decision or engage in other productive steps to advocate for changes. Your teens are watching.
Advocate for Change if Needed
Try not to assume the worst about such policies at their outset. As with anything, there will be pros and cons. A thoughtful cost-benefit analysis over time will reveal if changes may be warranted. If you or your teen feels strongly about the impacts of this new policy, find ways to advocate for a review and possible revisions. This is a great opportunity to support your teen while teaching responsible civic engagement. Maybe they want to get involved in school government, write a letter to the administration, attend a school board meeting, or start and promote a petition. The experience of hard work, impassioned and respectful dissent, and delayed gratification are terrific life skills. They will also help shape a generation of future leaders charged with finding reasonable solutions to the complex new realities of a burgeoning technological industry.