All posts tagged: structure

Structure That Sustains but Then Constrains Must Be Broken

Structure That Sustains but Then Constrains Must Be Broken

Published by Jenni Sidey

When we create or build something, we often need temporary supports to help guide us and keep things in place. Sometimes those temporary structures become embedded within whatever we are building and just stay there in a support capacity, possibly forever. Sometimes those supports that at one time helped us set something up subsequently prevent us from growing. It’s not a shoo-in There’s a concept in traditional Japanese martial arts that explains the stages of development and maturation with ongoing training: shu (‘shoo’) ha (‘hah’) ri (‘ree’). Shu 守 is often functionally translated along the lines of “conserve/protect/follow.” This implies that in the early stages of training, we need to follow a model and use that semi-rigid structure to help support our development. Adherence to a set mold is a key idea to help guide our training. Ha 破 usually means to move away from, detach, or break away. This implies that we are at a stage of understanding where a rigid structure is no longer necessary to support our training. We can begin to …

Children Need Structure, Not Restriction at Mealtime

Children Need Structure, Not Restriction at Mealtime

Published by Jenni Sidey

If you’ve ever worried about your child’s eating—or their weight—you’re not alone. Many parents feel caught between wanting to protect their child’s health and not wanting to create stress, conflict, or shame around food. In that moment, it’s natural to tighten control. We remind them to take another bite of vegetables, suggest they’ve had enough, or quietly track how much they’re eating. It comes from love. But what many parents don’t realize is that these strategies often backfire. Over time, pressure and restriction can make children more focused on food, less aware of their hunger cues, and more resistant at meals. The good news is that there’s a different approach—one that’s calmer, more effective, and easier to sustain. It doesn’t rely on control. It’s built on structure, connection, and trust. When Less Control Leads to Better Eating Children do not respond well to constant correction at the table. When eating becomes something they are monitored or judged for, it stops being intuitive and starts feeling stressful. Research in child feeding shows that when adults try …