All posts tagged: Psychology

AI “deadbot” chatbots can help us feel like we’re talking with the dead

AI “deadbot” chatbots can help us feel like we’re talking with the dead

Published by José Betancourt

It’s now possible to create AI chatbots of loved ones to interact with after their death. But that raises some difficult questions, like: If you do, how might the experience shape your grief? This is one of the questions driving a global study of digital “deadbots” — AI models trained on a deceased person’s texts, voicemails, and other personal data. Through this work, researchers are exploring what it might mean that we can now use this emerging technology to talk to simulations of the dead. In the latest episode of Unexplainable, I spoke with some of these researchers investigating the potential impacts of “postmortem avatars” on people who are grieving, on the legacies and rights of the deceased, and on grief practices around the world. Because while deadbots may feel unfamiliar, the impulse behind them is deeply relatable. In times of loss, isn’t this what many of us want — to continue conversations with the people we’re missing? I have experienced this longing in my own life. After two of my closest friends died around …

My Experience Quitting Alcohol

My Experience Quitting Alcohol

Published by Jenni Sidey

In August 2023, my cardiologist strongly suggested that alcohol may be causing an irregular heart rhythm. I didn’t read the summary until I saw him the day before my 2024 appointment. That was the beginning of my life without alcohol. On June 6, 2024, I stopped consuming alcohol. I assumed that the cessation would be a simple process. A 2025 Gallup survey found that 54 percent of U.S. adults 18 and older who consume alcohol say they had an average of 3.2 drinks over the past week. These rates were way down from the peak of 71 percent of self-reported drinkers in 1976, 1977, and 1978. Retirement and Losses A phenomenon known as sudden retirement syndrome refers to the feelings of being lost, purposeless, or adrift after retiring from one’s career. For many people, their job isn’t just a means to earn a living; it’s a central aspect of their identity and purpose. When that role ends, many may feel lost. Leaving work can strip away your sense of purpose and self-worth. No longer do …

The Gut-Brain-Libido Axis

The Gut-Brain-Libido Axis

Published by Jenni Sidey

“Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it.” —Richard Feynman We tend to think of ourselves as philosophical creatures, but from an evolutionary perspective, we are basically gonads with supporting organs. Thus, seven billion people swarm the Earth. As Darwin might have said, it’s all about the sex. Surprisingly, animals need microbial facilitators in their sexual conquest. We may think we own the planet, but we are transient interlopers in a largely microbial world. Since most of these tiny creatures perceive us as lunch, we need to protect ourselves. That is the job of our immune system, but for all of its marvelous ability to adapt to new threats, microbes can run circles around our fortifications. That is why, millennia ago, we recruited our own microbes to act as our first line of defense. It takes a microbe to fight a microbe. In return for a continuous feast and a warm spot to reproduce, our homegrown microbes dutifully stab, poison, starve, or eat pathogens …

Conservation of Human Value

Conservation of Human Value

Published by Jenni Sidey

In Jean Piaget’s body of research on child development, the concept of “conservation” plays an important role. It refers to one’s ability to hold onto a critical but low-salience reality in the face of a high-salience, distorting event. The best example is probably Piaget’s experiment in which a child is shown two balls of clay and is asked to make sure they are exactly equal. Then one ball is transformed into a cigar shape, and the child is asked whether the ball has more clay, the cigar has more clay, or whether they are both the same. Until around age 5 or 6, a child will say the ball has more (because it is fatter) or the cigar has more (because it is longer), but typically not say that they are the same. Around age 6, when children reach the stage of “concrete operations,” they will say “the same.” They know that the shape looks different, but the mass is the same. Recently, I watched the British-Israeli documentary Naza, and it occurred to me that …

Pleasers and Pleaders

Pleasers and Pleaders

Published by Jenni Sidey

Most relationship advice treats the people pleaser as a problem to be solved. There are books, podcasts, Instagram carousels— heck, entire wellness industries— built around helping the pleaser say no. And don’t get me wrong, chronic people pleasers often are desperate for help, and there is help out there for them (I wrote a chapter about this in Rise Above). But here is what every one of those well-meaning resources misses: The people-pleaser is half of a dance. The other half — the pleader — almost never gets named. I think that’s a pretty important part of the equation. I call this person the “pleader” to make clear that these folks aren’t necessarily “toxic.” The pleader is simply someone who asks again and again and again after you’ve already said “no thanks.” The pleader is someone who may acknowledge your boundary in one sentence, only to completely undo it in the next breath. But I want to be clear: The pleader isn’t the villain in this story. Pleasers and pleaders usually grew up learning the …

Why We Crave Purpose

Why We Crave Purpose

Published by Jenni Sidey

Ask yourself this central question: When were you genuinely the happiest in your life? If you are being totally honest, you might find that the most joyful and unforgettable times were your most productive ones. Human beings are meaning-making machines—perpetual storytellers of the highest order. We are constantly weaving interpretation and texture into every aspect of our lives. Every day, we are organically compelled to justify our beliefs and actions, and for good reason; “meaning” gives us drive and determination to keep on going even when things get tough and we are running on empty. But why? In an inherently disordered world, our brains operate like principal narrators—realizing cognitive designs out of unpredictability and transforming experience into historied structure. But this isn’t an esoteric coincidence; it is a mental survival device. It’s one of the most essential parts of being human. We can’t stop doing it, and we shouldn’t. If we stray from the focused states of the mind that keep us connected to our daily purpose, we may decompensate and fall apart. For example, …

Do Me a Favor! | Psychology Today

Do Me a Favor! | Psychology Today

Published by Jenni Sidey

I don’t like to be finessed. – Vartan Gregorian The ultimatum game has achieved notoriety in behavioral economics and the study of negotiation. It’s a two-stage game. In stage 1, a proposer suggests how an available pot of money, say $10, be shared with a receiver. The receiver then has a choice between accepting the deal and rejecting it; if the latter, no one gets anything. Conventional game theory says the proposer should offer the smallest amount possible, that is, $1 if only single-dollar bills are on the table. The receiver should accept this offer because having any money should be preferred to having none (Güth et al., 1982). If the reader’s intuition rebels, this is as it should be. Fairness matters. Receivers can punish selfish proposers, and when they do, their loss is smaller than the proposers’ loss. Righteous retribution can feel good (Jackson et al., 2019). The veto-saying receiver teaches the greedy proposer a lesson, and this is not nothing in the hedonic calculus. Proposers are, however, as smart as receivers, and so …

Speaking in Tongues | Psychology Today

Speaking in Tongues | Psychology Today

Published by Jenni Sidey

October isn’t just for pumpkin spice lattes. It’s for all kinds of foods and beverages. October 16 is World Food Day, October 24 is National Food Day, and there are lots of other food days besides these two all-encompassing “holidays,” from National Homemade Cookies Day on October 1 (yum!) to National Chocolate-Covered Insects Day on October 14 (yuck!). Besides such labels marking food days, there are many other connections between language and food. In fact, there’s a whole subfield of linguistics, the scientific study of human language, devoted to this topic—”culinary linguistics.” Shared Food Words, Shared Linguistic Heritage Why would linguists want to study language and food? For one, food terms shed light on the history of languages and peoples. If the same word or related words for a particular food or drink are found across different languages, then that may be a clue that there was once a common ancestral language—or that one common source had significant influence. For example, “coffee,” from Arabic “qahwah,” can be traced from Ethiopia to Turkey to countries and …

the psychology of why a romantic partner can suddenly repulse you

the psychology of why a romantic partner can suddenly repulse you

Published by Miika Tikkanen

Ever felt a sudden wave of cringe toward someone you were into – all because they wore questionable shoes or chewed a bit too loudly? Congratulations, you’ve caught “the ick”. That instant flip from attraction to total repulsion is everywhere on TikTok and Instagram, with singletons and couples bonding over the specific, often ridiculous triggers that turned them off. But beyond the viral memes and funny rants, why does our brain sometimes pull the handbrake so fast on an attraction? There are a number of potential explanations. Some psychologists have argued that the ick might be linked to the phenomenon of sexual disgust. Sexual disgust is hypothesised as an emotion that has been shaped by the selection pressure of evolution, which is the idea that women are hardwired to choose males that they can successfully mate with, to ensure the survival of their babies. From this perspective, while perhaps overzealous, the ick serves as a function to ensure appropriate mating. This theory comes with its limitations however, as not all women are dating or in …

4 Casual Things People Who Come Across As High Status & Compete Often Do At Work

4 Casual Things People Who Come Across As High Status & Compete Often Do At Work

Published by Jenni Sidey

You only get one chance to make a first impression, as the saying goes, and what that first impression says about you can be a make-or-break factor in situations like business meetings or job interviews.  But what if you’re a giant ball of nerves and anxiety? Can you “fake it till you make it” and still project poise and power even if you’re anxious inside? Science says yes. Grace McCarrick, a career coach and workplace expert, is an authority on the concept of “soft skills,” the parts of our working lives that involve everything from human interaction and problem-solving to psychology and emotional intelligence. Basically, the non-technical, non-nuts-and-bolts part of work. Even if we aren’t necessarily adept at these skills, we’re always interacting with and assessing them, especially in job interviews. One key way they come into play is through status assessments. The status we project is a major part of the first impression a person forms of us. “Whether you like it or not, status rules a lot of how we behave,” McCarrick explained …