Growing up, I felt stifled by my parents’ many rules. Now, I’m learning to find compassion for them
SURVIVAL INSTINCTS IN ADULTHOOD This tension followed me into adulthood, where the survival instincts I’d honed in childhood led me down a never-ending spiral of self-doubt and regret. At work, I held back from speaking up in meetings or disagreeing with stakeholders, fearing I’d be labelled as difficult or my ideas dismissed as irrelevant or wrong. I’d watch as colleagues around me voiced thoughts similar to my own, earning the recognition or validation I secretly craved. Even in casual conversations with friends, I often refrained from sharing my perspective, not even on trivial topics like whether Friends or The Big Bang Theory was better. I always convinced myself that silence was easier than risking conflict – or worse, rejection. But silence comes at a cost. Over time, the weight of everything I never said built up, and I felt increasingly resentful and misunderstood. I held my tongue, went along with everything said by everyone around me, fearful of rocking the boat. All it did was make me depressed, anxious and, in my lowest points, suicidal. …