Thinking rationally is often presented as a magic answer to life’s problems. If we can just think more rationally and understand the reality of our world, then we will feel much better.

At least that’s what people say. But the truth is, just recognizing the reality of what is happening to us and around us often is not enough. We can understand clearly what is happening and still feel lousy about it.

Take the following example. A person recognizes that their job is no longer working for them. They go into work every day, put in the hours and feel absolutely terrible. After thinking about it, they realize that they hate their job. It may be that the work is no longer meaningful, they don’t feel like they are going anywhere, their boss is a tyrant, or a combination of all three. Coming to the conclusion, rationally, that the source of their distress is the meaninglessness or difficulty of their job can be useful.

But notice how recognizing reality does not guide the person on what to do here. It does not tell the person whether to leave their job, talk with their boss, or find some way to manage the problems the job presents. It also offers no guidance on how to handle the stress, as the person remains at the job even if they decide to look for a new one.

We often expect that if we just understand the reality of a situation, we will be able to deal with it or know what to do with it. But that is not the way reality actually works. Recognizing that something “is the way it is”, to quote an overused cliche, does not mean that we will know how to handle that reality.

Our experiences are ones where we all have to deal with the reality of our social world. But reality itself does not present information about what meaning we associate with it. Things happen, situations evolve, and people act as they do without these situations providing any clear guidance on how we are supposed to respond.

I once had a conversation with an expert in biological evolution who used a phrase that I still use today: “Evolution isn’t good or bad, it just is.” I think about that phrase whenever I reflect on the fact that the world itself does not provide any clear indication of what things mean when they occur. All we know about the world is that things happen, and that things are the way they are, but knowing that rationally does not tell us what it means.

Rational thinking is a good starting place for handling reality effectively. But it is not enough. In order to effectively use rational information, you need to incorporate your own thinking about values and meaning.

In some ways, this is an extension of rational thinking. It is just rational thinking turned more inward. You move from asking “what facts do I know about what is happening here?” to “what facts do I know about how I define meaning and purpose?” Knowing those facts about how you want to live your life allows you to incorporate them into processing effectively what is happening to you and what is happening around you.

So, the solution is not to move away from thinking rationally. It is living your life more rationally. Living in a rational way does not mean you know the facts about what is happening to you and around you. It also means knowing:

1. The facts about what you want out of life.
2. What purpose you have in your life.
3. How you want to use your limited time on Earth.
4. Ways that you define meaning in your life.

Here are some important points to consider when trying to live your life in a more fully rational way

1. Recognize that knowing the reality of the situation does not mean you necessarily know what to do with that information.
2. Being able to state clearly what you find meaningful and important, major parts of thinking more fully rationally, helps you deal with the facts about what you are experiencing.
3. Emotional distress can be a major factor related to thinking more rationally. Recognizing reality does not mean you will feel good about it. Distress can be a strong motivator for deciding more deeply what you think about a situation.
4. Deciding what to do about a situation may mean you accept that you do not do anything (at least for now). Just accepting that reality bothers you while also acknowledging that you cannot change it can by itself be helpful.