All posts tagged: Remarried

The Ultimate Infidelity Guide (And How To Affair-Proof Your Marriage) | Debra Macleod

The Ultimate Infidelity Guide (And How To Affair-Proof Your Marriage) | Debra Macleod

Much of the content in this article is taken from my book Marriage SOS: 30 Lifelines to Rescue Your Relationship in One Month. If you’re struggling with infidelity, this book can help you manage the initial “crisis period.” It also provides simple, straightforward, and ongoing support to rebuild trust, and your relationship, as the days and weeks go on. Whether it is a husband who finds a forbidden lover’s note tucked in his wife’s purse or a wife who discovers her husband has been paying another woman’s rent, it is a gut-wrenching, life-shattering experience to suddenly discover that a spouse has been unfaithful. It is equally devastating to hear a spouse confess to infidelity, even if the confession was done out of guilt and a sincere attempt to repair the marriage. Living in suspicion can be just as emotionally exhausting. Unfortunately, many spouses who suspect their partner of cheating are correct. Classic signs of a cheating spouse include spending more time at work, financial spending that cannot be accounted for, sudden self-improvement efforts (i.e. joining a gym, dressing …

How To Be More Than Just A Fling To Him | Christian Carter

How To Be More Than Just A Fling To Him | Christian Carter

Did you know that most men decide if a woman is “girlfriend material” within a few seconds of meeting her? That’s right — if you don’t know how to create the right first impression with a man, then you just might get thrown into the “just a friend” category for good. That’s why it’s important to understand what causes a man to be attracted to you at a deeper level from the get-go. Men think of women as relationship material when they see that a woman understands something that other women can’t even see going on. Women who are relationship material exude positive emotional energy that men can relate to. And they’re naturally the kind of women who every man is inexplicably drawn to, even if they don’t look like a supermodel. Here’s a list of what women who are relationship material don’t do: 1. They don’t exaggerate about what’s going on around them or what a man’s doing Unless they’re doing it as a joke or to make fun of a man in a playful way, then it’s fair game. RELATED: The …

7 Small Signs Your Marriage Counselor Is Giving You Terrible Advice | Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz

7 Small Signs Your Marriage Counselor Is Giving You Terrible Advice | Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz

Sometimes we wonder why so many good folks in America have fallen prey to the lies and distortions about marriage they hear from uninformed “experts” or people with political agendas. They may not be able to recognize the signs of a bad marriage counselor and take poor marriage advice. But why are so many willing to accept the negative pronouncements about marriage? It is a failed institution (it is not); the divorce rate is over 50 percent (it is well below that number for first-time marriages); people don’t get married anymore (three-quarters-plus of adults in America will get married at least once in their lifetime); we can just live together and be happy (not that simple); good intimacy is all that matters (over 33 years of research rates the importance of intimacy to a successful marriage as only 6 on a 10-point scale)? The pronouncements go on and on. As you seek someone to help your marriage work through the issues confronting it, it is critical to find marriage advice or advice for your relationships from a marriage counselor who doesn’t …

My Ex Threatened Me With Revenge Porn — How I Stopped Him | Arianna Jeret

My Ex Threatened Me With Revenge Porn — How I Stopped Him | Arianna Jeret

In October 2019, Rep. Katie Hill (D-Calif.) announced her resignation from Congress “amid an ethics inquiry into allegations that she had an intimate relationship with a congressional staff member in her office.” The story of 32-year-old Hill’s extramarital affair only broke after nude photos of her were leaked in an act of nonconsensual pornography, more commonly known as revenge porn. If you haven’t heard the term before, you’re not alone. I didn’t learn its meaning until my near brush with Internet-era devastation at the hands of an angry man. Go ahead. Wag your finger at me and tell me I should know better. Just know that I am not going to apologize, and I do not feel ashamed. RELATED: Sorry, Not Sorry: 3 Tips Learned From Threats of Revenge Porn Yes, I sent naked selfies to my boyfriend. Now, my ex-boyfriend. Of course, I knew sending them was a risk — a risk I gave thought to before doing it. I considered that my career focuses on divorce and relationships, that if worse came to worst …

Why A Certain Type Of Text Message Ruins Even The Best Relationships | Dr. Randi Gunther

Why A Certain Type Of Text Message Ruins Even The Best Relationships | Dr. Randi Gunther

Texting has become one of the most popular forms of instant communication today. And because intimate partners are likely to save these messages, they form a valuable archived written history of their relationship’s “story”. This ongoing record provides a unique opportunity for men and women to evaluate the types of text messages they send, whether or not their communication skills are helping or hindering their relationships, and the extent to which the quality of their texts synchronizes with the quality of their typical face-to-face interactions. RELATED: 12 Tiny Promises The Happiest Married Couples Make Here’s why a certain type of text message ruins even the best relationships — and what to do about it: 1. Message length In my discussions with couples I work with, most couples believe women are “wordier” than men, but whoever is the most talkative depends on the subject and situation in question. These couples also unanimously tell me men like to hear the bottom line first, then work up to the detailed back story (and only if necessary), whereas women like …

How To Affair-Proof Any Marriage | Jeff Forte

How To Affair-Proof Any Marriage | Jeff Forte

Here’s a dose of reality: Today one person in every three couples is having an affair. You probably realize that lying is a pervasive part of society. Deception is everywhere, from politics to food labeling. While cheating on your spouse and jeopardizing your marriage has been around forever, it has never been easier thanks to technology. The same smartphone that makes everything available at the tap of your fingers, also makes it possible to inquire and engage countless, willing, married, and single people for intimacy.   Today, online dating is the primary source of all relationships. However, it’s estimated that up to 30 percent of profiles on single sites are actually covered for married people. Infidelity websites are increasingly popular, and the largest, Ashley Madison, boasts 70 million members and growing.  According to the affair website Victoria Milan, 45 percent of people have cheated or contemplated cheating on their spouse because their partner pays too much attention to their smartphone. This is ironic because their partner could actually be using that phone to cheat. This is actually the preferred …

How To Show Up For Someone Who Is Struggling (Without Minimizing Or Patronizing) | Mitzi Bockmann

How To Show Up For Someone Who Is Struggling (Without Minimizing Or Patronizing) | Mitzi Bockmann

Many people get paralyzed when someone they love is struggling. The instinct is to try to fix them, to make them happy again, and that is not a bad instinct. But it is not an instinct that works in this situation, I am afraid. The only way to show up for someone who is struggling is to do just that — show up. Let your person know you see they are struggling and you are there for them. If and when they are ready, they know they have someone there for them, someone they can trust not to fix them, someone who will listen. RELATED: 5 Tiny Things The Best Spouses Never Ignore About Each Other Here’s how to show up for someone who is struggling (without minimizing or patronizing). What does this look like, telling someone you are there for them? Let me share three DOs for showing up for your person. 1. “I want you to know I see you are struggling, and I am so sorry you are.” With this phrase, you …

The One Kind Of Conversation Couples Need To Have Daily

The One Kind Of Conversation Couples Need To Have Daily

By Kyle Benson When Steven gets home from work, his wife Katie asks him, “How was your day, dear?” Photo: Monkey Business Images via Canva From there, the conversation goes like this: Steven: “At my weekly meeting my manager challenged my knowledge of our products and told the CEO that I am incompetent. She’s such a jerk.” Katie: “There you go again. Overacting and blaming your manager. When I met her she seemed very logical and reasonable. You’re probably being insensitive to her worries about your department.” Steven: “The woman has it out for me.” Katie: “And there’s your paranoia. You really need to get a handle on that.” Steven: “Forget I ever said anything.” Do you think Steven feels love by his wife in this moment? Probably not. Instead of providing a safe haven for him to be heard, she adds to his stress. Learning to cope with external pressures and tensions outside your relationship is crucial to a marriage’s long-term health, according to research by Neil Jacobson. The One Conversation Couples Need To …

Love, logistics and fresh beginnings: readers on the reasons they remarried | Relationships

Love, logistics and fresh beginnings: readers on the reasons they remarried | Relationships

Once upon a time, a misstep down the aisle was a life sentence. But since no-fault divorce laws were introduced in Australia nearly 50 years ago, couples have been free to end ill-fated unions (after a separation of 12 months and one day) then toll those wedding bells again. While it’s no longer uncommon to avoid the stress and expense of marriage altogether, for many the formality and fanfare remains seductive – even if it didn’t work out the first time. Very few readers mentioned the religious significance of marriage when asked why they chose to do it more than once, yet it’s clear the institution still holds powerful sway, both socially and legally, with many readers motivated not only by romance and tradition but by the lingering bureaucratic benefits of making things official. ‘The family celebration was valuable’ I married my first boyfriend when I was just 21, but inevitably the relationship, which started when we were still legally children, couldn’t grow with us into adulthood. Hardly surprising. Ending the relationship was necessary so …

6 Cruel Ways His Cheating Affects You (That Nobody Talks About) | Suzy Brown

6 Cruel Ways His Cheating Affects You (That Nobody Talks About) | Suzy Brown

You find out your partner is cheating on you. You picture him or her laughing, kissing, and making love to someone else on a blanket in the country or in a fancy hotel. Your partner then comes home, lies to your face, deceives you, and makes you feel guilty about even thinking such a thing could ever happen. You feel rage, shock, devastation, obsession. These are just a few of the gut-wrenching, but entirely normal reactions to cheating in a relationship. From personal experience, and from helping other women recover from divorce, I know that surviving infidelity lasts much longer than anyone wants to admit. All the while, friends and family say “Just get over it!” or “Move on already!” So, not only must you face and deal with the hurt of betrayal, but you feel like a “wuss” for not being able to move on fast enough to satisfy those around you. Those of us who know the heartbreak of a partner’s betrayal are usually left to suffer on our own, pretending we’re okay. No one fully understands the depth of the pain or …