All posts tagged: jokes

Nikki Glaser reveals 10 jokes she cut from her Golden Globes monologue

Nikki Glaser reveals 10 jokes she cut from her Golden Globes monologue

Published by skeptic

Sign up to our free IndyArts newsletter for all the latest entertainment news and reviews Sign up to our free IndyArts newsletter Sign up to our free IndyArts newsletter Nikki Glaser has revealed 10 jokes that she cut from her Golden Globes monologue for being “too mean.” The 40-year-old stand up comic has earned widespread acclaim for her first stint hosting the awards ceremony. On the Monday morning (January 6) following the ceremony, Glaser appeared on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM show to discuss her set. After receiving some pushback on social media for a joke about Diddy, Glaser revealed she cut a second reference to Diddy: “This is the last time all of you will be the same room together until the Diddy trial.” The comedian explained that she felt the joke she kept in about Diddy worked better, and also that it would be risky to accuse “people in the room of being involved in that… they might turn on you.” Another joke cut was about the Vatican thriller Conclave: “It’s about the choosing a …

‘Ozempic’s biggest night’: Nikki Glaser kicks off Golden Globes with jokes on sex scandal and voting

‘Ozempic’s biggest night’: Nikki Glaser kicks off Golden Globes with jokes on sex scandal and voting

Published by skeptic

Sign up to our free IndyArts newsletter for all the latest entertainment news and reviews Sign up to our free IndyArts newsletter Sign up to our free IndyArts newsletter Nikki Glaser pulled no punches as she kicked off the Golden Globes in Los Angeles, telling the A-List audience that the award show was “Ozempic’s biggest night.” The 33-year-old comedian, who is known for her dark and often offensive brand of humour, opened the 82nd annual awards show in Los Angeles by using her opening monologue to take aim at voting. Glaser previously told The Independent that anticipation for the show had made her feel “42 weeks pregnant, and she was excited to deliver her jokes “in front of the crowd they were meant for.” Glaser entered the spotlight for her cutting, dark, and often offensive jokes during U.S. comedy roasts, including those of Rob Lowe, Bruce Willis, and Alec Baldwin. She was also one of the standout performers at the roast of Tom Brady – broadcast on Netflix back in May. She has also received …

Memes, Jokes and Cats: South Koreans Use Parody for Political Protest

Memes, Jokes and Cats: South Koreans Use Parody for Political Protest

Published by Sam

As South Koreans took to the streets this month demanding the ousting of their president, some found an unexpected outlet to express their fury: jokes and satire. They hoisted banners and flags with whimsical messages about cats, sea otters and food. They waved signs joking that President Yoon Suk Yeol’s declaration of martial law had forced them to leave the comfort of their beds. Pictures of the flags spread widely on social media. The idea was to use humor to build solidarity against Mr. Yoon, who has vowed to fight his impeachment over his ill-fated martial law decree on Dec. 3. Some waved flags for nonexistent groups like the so-called Dumpling Association, a parody of real groups like labor unions, churches or student clubs. Video by Yu Young Jin/The New York Times Photos by Weiyi Cai/The New York Times “I just wanted to show that we were here as part of the people even if we aren’t actually a part of a civic group,” said Kim Sae-rim, 28, who waved the flag of the dumpling …

Ian Hislop jokes about ‘high point’ of taxi incident mistaken for shooting | UK News

Ian Hislop jokes about ‘high point’ of taxi incident mistaken for shooting | UK News

Published by skeptic

Ian Hislop has joked there was one “high point” of being involved in an incident initially thought to be a shooting earlier this week. The Private Eye editor was travelling in a black taxi near the magazine’s office in Soho, central London, on Tuesday when the rear window of the vehicle smashed. It was initially believed the cab had been hit by a bullet – but the Metropolitan Police later said there was “no evidence of a firearms discharge at this time”. Hislop discussed the incident in Friday night’s pre-recorded episode of Have I Got News For You. In a scene which played before the episode’s opening credits, Hislop could be seen telling the show’s host, panellists and studio audience: “I always say at this point I’m glad to be here, but this week I really mean it. “There was one high point when a policeman investigating me said ‘this may be a silly question but is there anyone who might have a grudge against you?’.” As the audience laughed, Hislop’s rival team captain Paul …

Liam Gallagher jokes about price of Oasis tickets as he tells fan to ‘shut up’ | Ents & Arts News

Liam Gallagher jokes about price of Oasis tickets as he tells fan to ‘shut up’ | Ents & Arts News

Published by skeptic

Liam Gallagher has joked about the price of Oasis tickets after fans were left frustrated after being charged over-inflated prices for tickets. In a series of expletive-laden tweets, the Oasis frontman said: “OASIS are back [you’re] welcome and I hear [their] ATTITUDE STINKS, good to know something’s never change F******.” Asked by one fan if he had any spare tickets, he replied: “Shit loads but [they’re] really expensive 100 thousand pounds. Kneeling only.” In response to someone who wrote: “Didn’t expect them to rip the fans off as much as they have done. It’s genuinely a shame,” Gallagher replied: “SHUTUP.” When someone asked how his mother Peggy felt about the reunion, Gallagher responded: “She’s gutted she couldn’t get a ticket”. Asked how he was feeling, he replied: “SMUG only kidding SMUG AS F*** I told you all we were gonna get back together one fine day.” Image: Noel and Liam Gallagher. Pic: oasisinet.com It comes as Oasis topped the UK’s Official Albums Chart with their debut album Definitely Maybe, 30 years after its release. It …

Scarlett Johansson Jokes She Hopes ‘Nobody Will Ever Read’ The ‘Avengers’ Group Chat

Scarlett Johansson Jokes She Hopes ‘Nobody Will Ever Read’ The ‘Avengers’ Group Chat

Published by Sam

The content of Scarlett Johansson’s group chat with her Avengers costars is more secretive than a S.H.I.E.L.D. mission. In a new interview with The New York Times, the Fly Me To The Moon star, gave a tight-lipped tease about the confidential text chain she shares with her Marvel co-stars Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Jeremy Renner, Chris Hemsworth and Mark Ruffalo. When asked to confirm if the cast communicated through the private thread, she replied: “Yes, that’s true. But hopefully, nobody will ever read it.” “Everything goes on in there,” the two-time Oscar nominee shared. “I mean, really. If somebody’s gotten terrible reviews, that could be something that comes up.” The classified chat’s members are the original six stars of The Avengers, who starred in four of the franchise’s films together between 2012 and 2019. Nearly all of the actors went on to receive their own solo movies, including Scarlett, who led 2021’s Black Widow. Noting that the group is “like a family”, she explained: “We’ve been through an incredible experience over a decade plus …

Divine comedies: the best jokes for the Pope | Comedy films

Divine comedies: the best jokes for the Pope | Comedy films

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A hundred top comedians are generally considered a tough crowd, but Pope Francis had them rolling in the aisles at the Vatican on Friday, with jovial praise for their profession. To “laugh at God” was fine, he explained, in the same way “we play and joke with the people we love”. “While communication today often generates conflict,” the pontiff continued, “you know how to bring together diverse and sometimes contrary realities. How much we need to learn from you!” The church has been the source of a great deal of humour over the ages – not all of it welcomed at the time by believers. Here we look at some of the most successful comedies for Pope Francis – and his disciples – to contemplate. Life of Brian All study of religious irreverence must begin with Monty Python’s satire about Brian (Graham Chapman), born to Mandy (Terry Jones), in the stable next door to Jesus – prompting considerable confusion. Now considered one of the finest films ever made, it was banned for blasphemy in 1979 …

Tom Brady Roast Robert Kraft Massage Jokes Off-Limits: Andrew Schulz

Tom Brady Roast Robert Kraft Massage Jokes Off-Limits: Andrew Schulz

Published by Sam

Since Tom Brady‘s Netflix roast, viewers have speculated about how much the NFL star truly was upset over Jeff Ross‘ joke that alluded to Patriots owner Robert Kraft being charged with soliciting prostitution after an investigation into massage parlors in Florida. Now, comedian Andrew Schulz, who participated in the roast, is saying that he believes that uncomfortable moment “was 100 percent real.” “The reason why I think it’s real is because they told us no jokes about happy endings with Bob Kraft,” Schulz said on his Flagrant podcast. Schulz explained that he had a joke about former Patriots wide receiver Randy Moss receiving a “happy ending” from Kraft. “They were like, ‘Tom asked us not to do anything with the massage shit,’” the comedian recalled. “I was like, ‘Alright, cool. The guy’s coming here for this thing. He’s not getting roasted.’” He also claimed that Brady was “ready to shut the whole thing down” after the first comic to roast him onstage didn’t follow the rules. “Most people would get caught up in that moment …

King Charles jokes about being ‘allowed out of my cage’ during Surrey army barracks visit | UK News

King Charles jokes about being ‘allowed out of my cage’ during Surrey army barracks visit | UK News

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The King has joked about being “allowed out of my cage” on a visit to an army barracks in Surrey. As he was being led around, he told the commanding officer: “I do apologise for taking you by surprise, when this opportunity appeared and I had been allowed out of my cage, I wanted to come to have a look.” The King is thought to have been continuing his cancer treatment as an outpatient this week. The monarch, who is colonel-in-chief of the Royal Engineers, made the remarks on a trip to 3 Royal School of Military Engineering – at Gibraltar Barracks in Minley. He appeared in good spirits, telling the wife of one corporal “nothing a strong drink won’t help” when she told him the couple had three children. Image: Pic: Reuters The King was given flowers and Royal Engineer mugs from the children of some of the soldiers – and received a portrait of himself from six-year-old Louie Bacon. The 75-year-old has only recently returned to public duties following the public announcement of …

Nikki Glaser Reveals Jokes She Cut From Netflix’s Tom Brady Roast

Nikki Glaser Reveals Jokes She Cut From Netflix’s Tom Brady Roast

Published by Sam

Nikki Glaser, one of the standouts from Netflix’s Tom Brady roast, has revealed that she didn’t get to deliver every joke she had planned during the live comedy event. During an interview on SiriusXM’s The Howard Stern Show following the roast, the comedian and actress, who earned widespread praise for her set, shared some of the punchlines the audience missed on Sunday night. “Tom, I love your work — you’ve done on your face,” read one of Glaser’s jokes about the football star’s alleged plastic surgery that she cut. “Seriously, slow down. What is happening with your cheeks? You look like a Ken doll that was microwaved. You love deflating things, stop.” The FGirl Island star said she also cut a joke about CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy), a progressive degenerative disease affecting many NFL players who have suffered repeated concussions and traumatic brain injuries. “It’s really cool all the proceeds are going to CTE research and the NFL’s coordinated effort to cover it up,” Glaser read. “People don’t know, but it costs millions to murder …