(RNS) — For me, the ideal Bible is the Gideon Bible. I’m not talking about the KJV translation, which is what the Gideons use and I know has its issues. I’m just talking about vibes. When you finally set your suitcase down in the cheap hotel with the Stone Age coffeemaker and jet engine AC unit, you can pop the nightstand open and there she is. Fake ass faded leather cover, stark “HOLY BIBLE” in all caps on the front, 66 books and zero fluff. It’s comforting, the way anything familiar is comforting. The way you know the hotel TV is going to have “Price Is Right” reruns and the hotel pool is going to smell like it has enough chlorine to bleach your hair, you know the hotel desk stand is going to have a Gideon Bible. (I once read that whenever Ian McKellen comes across a Gideon Bible, he tears out the pages with the verses that forbid homosexuality. So now I check any Gideon Bible I come across for a sign that Sir …