The 3 Most Devastating Ways Partners Gaslight You
As a therapist, I frequently hear painful stories from clients who are grappling with the confusing and often subtle dynamics of gaslighting in their relationships. Gaslighting, a form of emotional manipulation, is designed to make someone question their perception of reality. It’s insidious because it can be so gradual and covert that you don’t even realize it’s happening—until your sense of self is deeply damaged. Below are the three most common ways relationship partners gaslight each other, drawn from real-life counseling experiences. 1. Denying Your Reality: “That Never Happened” Esther, a 32-year-old marketing professional, came into therapy because her once-loving relationship with Matt had turned toxic. “I would bring up things he said or did—things I know happened,” Esther whispered. “But every time, he’d look at me like I was crazy. He’d say, ‘I never said that,’ or ‘You’re imagining things.’” Over time, Esther began questioning her memory, often apologizing for things she wasn’t even sure she did wrong. This form of gaslighting involves outright denial of facts. Matt’s constant refutation of Esther’s experiences slowly …