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5 Steps Happy Couples Take To Create Lasting Relationships | Lana Cole

5 Steps Happy Couples Take To Create Lasting Relationships | Lana Cole
5 Steps Happy Couples Take To Create Lasting Relationships | Lana Cole

All of us have dreamed about a romance that will last a lifetime. But, in reality, approximately half of US marriages end in divorce, which is not to mention breakups, bitter feelings, depression, and  disillusion.

Romantic relationships are more elusive and complicated than the ideal. However, you’ll have better chances of keeping your fire burning if you follow a few existential tips.

Here are 5 steps happy couples take to create lasting relationships

1. Choose human behavior over animalistic instincts

Soren Kierkegaard considered people to be prisoners of their natural urges. We typically crave immediate gratification of our desires. We prefer intimacy to love. Many famous lovers, like Don Giovanni, looked at people like objects, which is shallow and eventually leads to melancholy and even despair.

Love is like a drug, and we should enjoy it. But, according to Kierkegaard, we can still choose our behavior and own our passions instead of being slaves to animalistic passion.

Photo: Ana Alice Azevedo / Pexels

RELATED: 6 Habits Of People Who Successfully Maintain A Long-Term Relationship

2. Remember that one plus one equals two

In love, we often feel like becoming “one” with our beloved — becoming “we” instead of “you” and “I.” It is a basic need of attachment, of togetherness, of not feeling alone.

Existential philosophers like Martin Buber and Viktor Frankl pointed out the essential faultiness of such an approach. We are isolated in our existence, and we need to accept it, as Dr. Irvin Yalom pointed out.

A romantic relationship will enrich our lives if we do not lose our freedom. If we become overly controlling, monitor every step of our partner, or tend to spend all our time together, it can cause a serious problem, according to the French existential philosopher and writer Jean-Paul Sartre.

Many times, it may cause irritation and destroy trust. The best option for a harmonious relationship is two circles, overlapping only in the middle. Embrace your differences and be individuals contributing to each other.

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